Two versions of Judas

1. Isolation

He saw himself engulfed in flames

Writhing and cursing as the hellfire licked at his flesh

His wretched screams not enough to overcome

The curses cast down from God, from the universe

From all of humanity in one long line of history

Judas was perhaps afraid

When he looked into his Master’s eyes

And saw his fate and knew he could not escape it

That he would not even try

But would slither,

like some biblical snake,

A cowardly thing,

Slither to the enemy and betray his friend.

Judas had always known more, seen more

Than any of the others

Been singled out by his Teacher

isolated in his grasp of what was to come

He been allowed to understand the cosmic weight

Of their lives, of his own life

His knowledge was at once beautiful and terrible

To know was beautiful

But to understand was terrible

To dream of the hard stones that would fall upon his back

Breaking his bones as they cursed him

Few would call it a sacrifice

His betrayal would be painted with broad strokes

The turning point of the narrative

The rising action

And few would suspect that he walked

Shoulders heavy and aching

Alone, his footsteps heavy

His reward not the coins in his purse

But the knowledge he had of his part in it all

His sacrifice and his betrayal one and the same

And few would praise him for his willingness

To damn his soul

To be cast out and cursed

For the sake of the golden generation and the golden house

That he would never be allowed to see.

2.

Surrounded by twelve and yet

I have never felt more alone.

My choice has been made

The King of the Jews no longer has a throne.

I cannot speak to anyone

no one will understand.

It’s a lonely existence,

knowing I will be eternally dammed.

My legacy, tainted by

treachery, treason, betrayal.

I am the only one that understands

My choices are my own though they be fatal.

***

In these two poems we compared the traditional Christian views of Judas to the Gnostic portrayal of Judas. These stories reflect a feeling of isolation and loneliness that is very similar to what individuals are experiencing today as part of shelter in place/social distancing. The comparison only emphasizes these overall themes of isolation even though their origins are different.

By Abigail Delk and Mairead O'Rourke